…I have discovered, is to start in November or December, keep at it for a few weeks until you sort-of-know some of the routines, then turn up to a session in January and reap the rewards: lots of Zumba-newbies kicking off their New Year Resolutions who not only look as confused as you were back in November, thus making you look way better at it than you actually are, but make it harder to spot the ones who’ve been doing it for ages, thus helping you think you’re better at it than you actually are

Another thing I’ve discovered is that Zumba can be quite an effective contact sport if performed in the right sort of numbers.