Not content with yesterday’s efforts, I thought I’d ruin a carol this time… to give a couple of bits of context:

1) I was once, in the depths of my past, a historian

2) I quite enjoyed this

3) I’m not amazing at maths

Hark the poor historians sing

Maths is quite a complex thing!

Perfect numbers, products, primes;

Fractions, functions, percentiles.

Never learnt to long divide,

Or which shapes have seven sides.

‘Fraid my brain is fried again

With old Pythag’s Theorem

Hark the poor historians sing

Maths is quite a complex thing!

I’d stand more chance of being adored

By a real-life Time Lord

Than of working out the sum

Of root of 63 plus 1.

And what’s with the backwards E?

That’s a letter – can’t fool me!

Arithmetic’s all very well

But I’d rather just use Excel

Hark the poor historians sing

Maths is quite a complex thing!

Hail the advent of small batteries!

Hail calculators and PCs!

Without the comfort Casio brings

I’d never solve most mathsy things

Algebra can make me sigh

Trig and vectors make me cry

So let’s celebrate the birth

Of Blaise Pascal for all we’re worth.

Hark the poor historians sing

Maths is quite a complex thing!