I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but I really hate clothes shopping.
Today I had to do some – two and a half hours spent dodging parents and polyester. Lovely.
Plenty of time for my cotton-addled brain to come up with this… anyone unfamiliar with Wicked may wish to peruse the original that inspired it here. And then go see it sometime in all its grand, green, thrillifying glory.
I know this feeling, this is nothing new.
Forced into shopping for my clothes won’t do.
People are rushing.
Clothes floor to ceiling.
Parents are shushing.
Oh why’s this appealing?
No two stores the same, though they share a name!
Clothing! How I hate shopping for clothing!
Some have love, I just have loathing!
Let’s just say- I loathe it all!
Waist’s too big but hips are just too small – I’m slowly being driven up the wall by shopping here for clothing!
There’s a strange exhilaration when you see the cashiers’ station.
But the queue’s so long!
Tried this on but now the zip’s stuck fast – don’t know how much longer I can last!
And I will hate clothing, old and new, my whole life long.
Dear consumer, this is just no good!
You’re not approaching this the way you should.
We make things easier not harder,
This is why so many buy us
We sell suits to make you smarter!
We have rooms for you to try us…
Poor consumer, just step inside,
We’ll send you home feeling satisfied,
You can bring those shoes back if they are too wide!
We love our clothing, our own brand top-rated clothing!
We don’t understand your loathing,
Let’s just say – we sell it all!
Every little waist, however small,
Whether you are short or very tall,
There’s a strange exhilaration,
When you see the cashiers’ station
Why’s the queue so long?
Tried this on and now the zip’s stuck fast – don’t know how much longer I can last!
And I will hate clothing shops forever
Clothing – truly, deeply – old and new
My whole life long!!!!
Clothing, our own brand top-rated clothing!